David’s Random Thoughts

I know I’ve complained about spam emails and the idiots that forward them before but I just can’t help but do it again.

Today I recieved an email telling me how I could possibly save my life by coughing during a heart attack. As I always do, I went to snopes.com to check it out. It turns out that coughing could possibly help during a heart attack but only if done correctly and preferably under the supervision of a doctor. Without proper training and/or supervision it could actually make the heart attack more fatal. (ready the full snopes info here)

This just really irks me. There are people out there endangering the lives of other people simply because they fail to engage their brains and think for themselves. I realize I might be taking it to the extreme but I think doing so really helps illistrate the point. Which, if you don’t know, is STOP FORWARDING EVERY PIECE OF SPAM AS IF IT WERE HAND WRITTEN BY GOD HIMSELF AND GIVEN TO US TO BLESS THE WORLD!

Ah, I feel better. 

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Well, we just returned home from our company Christmas party. Yes, I know it’s January 22nd but due to scheduling conflicts we decided to put it off until the latter half of January. Anyway, this year we decided to do a Christmas dinner at a local Mexican restaurant, named Maya’s, last night for the whole staff. Then today those who opted to go could go to Hidden Valley Ski Resort in St. Louis. Out of 35 staff members only twelve people went and boy did the others miss out.

Let me first address the worst part of the entire trip, the weather. Here’s today’s forecast:

Windy. Cloudy with a 40 percent chance of light snow. high around 20. Northwest wind 25 to 30 mph with gusts to around 45 mph.

For the first two hours of our time on the slopes the wind was pretty constant at the upper end of 25 to 30 mph. It was snowing more than just lightly and boy was it cold. What we didn’t find out until arriving was that earlier this week it had rained causing all of the homemade snow to turn to ice. This made the entire experience all the more interesting.

During our lesson, which most of us opted to take, the wind was so bad it kept blowing us newbie’s all over the place. It made it very hard to learn when our biggest concern was staying upright and in one place. I’m sure under ideal circumstances this is still hard for beginners, well this made it worse. The lesson was still enjoyable despite the weather. Oh, and I almost forgot. I only fell once the entire day. It was just after the lesson when attempting to slide down to the lodge for a break. The rest of the day was fall free. At least for me.

After the lesson a couple people where done right away. With the wind and the ice it was very discouraging and hard to imagine continuing on your own. A few of us persisted and after a quick warm-up break we went out to tame the bunny slope. Keep in mind the wind was still pounding away at us and as I looked down that slippery ice covered hill I quickly talked myself out of going down it and went inside to join the others who had already retired.

After about 30 minutes one of the guys who braved the bunny slope came in and was saying how cool it was and easier each time you did it. After hearing him talk about it for a few minutes I made up my mind to give it another go. After all I had just come 3 hours to do this and didn’t really want to let the mountain win so easily.

I spent the next two hours having a ball going up and down that slope. He was right, the more I did it the easier it became. I only wish we would have been skiing on actual snow instead of mostly ice with a tiny bit of snow here and there. It made it much more difficult to turn, stop and stand still since ski’s are designed for snow and not ice.

After all of this we decided to head back at about 2 p.m. It was still very cold and most of us had skied enough for one day. We decided to stop at The Olive Garden on the way for a really good meal and still made it home by 7:30 p.m.

I just have to say that this has been the best semo.net Christmas party since I have been working there and as some of you already know we’ve had some really great parties. I think because the group was small and we were drawn closer together because we were all so new to skiing it made for a much better experience.

I would really like to try skiing again with actual snow instead of ice. I think I would enjoy it even more. My only problem now is convincing myself to get on one of those lifts. shudders

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So this morning I’m minding my own business when a friend forwards me one of the standard “EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW THE INFORMATION IN THIS EMAIL SO IT’S WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS” messages. Now I have most of my email comrades trained to not send me such things as they are almost all utter nonsense and easily disproved. Though every now and then someone braves the waters and sends it to me anyway. This is okay and I don’t begrudge them because they respect my wishes most of time and only send me a forward when they think it will actually apply to me.

Today however it was an email saying we shouldn’t microwave foods in plastic containers because it will give you cancer. I quickly jumped over to snopes.com to authenticate the story. Naturally within seconds I found that it was completely false. So I kindly replied to my friend and said, “Sorry but not true” and included a link to the article.

What gets me upset is that when I actually research the emails that are sent to me and find they are false I feel it’s only right to let others know they are being misled. Though all too often I’m criticized and yelled at for it. Why is it okay for these people send mass amounts of unverified data to everyone they know but wrong for one person to respond, only to the sender not the whole list, and say I’m sorry but you are wrong. How does that make me the bad guy? I didn’t ask to be sent the information. In fact quite the opposite.

I just don’t understand the mentality behind, “Oooh, I’m going to send out mass amounts of spam to all my friends and relatives and hope they don’t mind.” Much less to them get mad when one of the unsuspecting people respond with, “Hey do you know this isn’t true?”

Oh well, I guess it’s just the burden some of us responsible netizens will have to live with in our digital information age.

The preceding rant was brought to you by Campbell’s Soup. It’s Mmmmm Mmmmm Good.

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I was sitting at work this morning and I noticed I needed a new box of Kleenex. So I went downstairs and grabbed a box off of the supply closet shelf. Apparently this is new Anti-Viral Kleenex which “kills 99.9% of Cold and Flu Viruses”. This point didn’t really catch my attention but what did was where the box said, “See bottom for use directions.”

Now, I thought to myself, “Why would anyone need directions on how to blow your nose?” So, out of curiosity I flipped the box over. Here’s what it said:

Directions for Use: It is a violation of Federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling. Use only as a facial tissue.

Why would the federal government care how I used a Kleenex???

What if I’m driving down the road drinking a soda when I hit a bump and spill some of it. I reach for something to clean it up and all I have is a Kleenex. I think to myself, “Will they know I didn’t use it as a facial tissue?”. I quickly glance around and the other motorists are paying zero attention to me so I figure I’m good to go. I grab a Kleenex and wipe up the spill. I feel slightly guilty but I quickly move on when my favorite song comes on the radio.

What I didn’t know was the FBI had been alerted to my misuse and were now hot on my trail. Before I could get another mile down the road a large black SUV veers in front my forcing me down a small side street with a conspicuous yellow sign that reads, “Dead End”. As I see the road ending I quickly slow down and get out to inspect my car for damage. Before I make it two steps a swarm of agents surrounds me, forces me on the ground and hauls me off to be tried for my crimes.

I’d hate to see what happens to people who use toilet paper to TP someone’s house.

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